totgpbtmaghrbbfss

TotgpbtmaghrbbFss – Toma

*T*he *o*ne *t*hat *g*ot *p*undered *b*y *t*he *m*onkey *a*nd *g*ot *h*is *r*esources *b*ack *b*ecause *F*angool *s*aid *s*o

• Minister of Lyrics: LYR
• Minister of Peace: LYR
• Minister of War: TOMA has no military interests.

The story

My dear Lords,

now its time to tell a story of glory and good manners,a story of real noblemen. A story that might have happened in the real world, or it might have happened in virtual world or at the end it never happened at all. I will let the reader decide.

Once upon a time a lyrical inspired young apprentice decided to build an city. Normally its not that easy to build a city but in those days, there was a wizard calling himself EA that offered him to fulfill his wishes. The A was a synonym for Arts which made our young man calling himself LYR.

In those days grass was green and there where a lot of little animals playing around. It were good times and starting as a little Earl LYR has grown to an rich and prospering emporer. But then something curious happened. There was an report: St LYR 20 was plundered by ZuCk (16.08.). Plundered was a new word for our friend LYR so had to look it up in a dictonary. After LYR realized what happened there was only one thing to do.

Ask ZuCk to give it back.

_______________________________________________________________________________
From: LYR
Subject: Holy greetings

Greetings to ZuCk the monkey

Some of your men seem to rob the quiet and holy town St LYR 20 by incident.
Could you please return the plundered goods.

Greetings
LYR
_______________________________________________________________________________

No reaction at all. That’s not polite thought LYR. So he wrote to the war minister of the monkeys.

_______________________________________________________________________________
From: LYR
Subject: Holy town plundered

My dear Fangool, war minister of the monkey,@
guardian of law and order,

I thought long if I should send this dove to you but I think you should know.
One of your apes calles himself ZuCk, which seems to be a synonym for Zucker (sugar)
seems to have a key to his cage. Because he calls himself sugar I assume its
the sweet small ape with the red booty that throws poo at anyone passing by.

I assume that he leaves his cage without your knowledge to plunder my holy towns.
In the night of 16.08. he plundered "St LYR 20". I friendly asked him to return
the goods but retrieved no answer which is rude. Maybe you can check his pockets.

If you find 16679 wood, 15912 stone, 10544 iron and 10544 wheat, could you please
send it back to me. And maybe you put him in a better cage.

With kind regards
LYR

cc: ZuCk;Chili
_______________________________________________________________________________

LYR just added the monkey Chili by random. He had nothing to do with the whole story. But maybe its possible to involve him. But there was a quick and polite reply from Fangool.

_______________________________________________________________________________
From: Fangool
Subject: Re: Holy town plundered

I have no intentions what so ever of making ZuCk send that paltry amount of resources back to you.
Just be thankfull that im not around you, as i would have robbed you blind if i had found you unable to defend yourself.

Might is Right

Fangool
_______________________________________________________________________________

LYR was exited. You have to know that a war minister is not allowed to write plain text. So I will translate it for you.
I have no intentions what so ever of making ZuCk send that paltry amount of resources back to you.
Means: Oh this little ape. I know he is running around. I will make him send it back.
Just be thankfull that im not around you
Means: My dear friend, can you please build some towns around mine so that we can have a good cup of coffee.
as i would have robbed you blind
Means: We will have a poker night where I will get all your money.
if i had found you unable to defend yourself
Means: You will never have any problems any more because I will send troops to protect you.

LYR was so exited that such an powerful and mighty monkey wrote such a nice message and in the night of 21.08. goods arrived from ZuCk at one of LYRs holy towns. Thats really a modern fairy tail which shows that there is a soft center in each hard looking rock.
And we learn that its always a good try to politely ask for something.

From the long missed chronicles of
TOTGPBTMAGHRBBFSS

P.S.: Characters of the tail are not intended to have any alikeness with living or death creatures.
P.P.S.: The only thing that is missing is saying thank you:
_______________________________________________________________________________
From: LYR
Subject: Re: Holy town plundered

My good old friend Fangool,

now I really believe in you mightyness and power.
When I looked into my account this morning I
could believe what I have seen.
Goods arrived from ZuCk.

So you really have power over your apes.
After Chili pointed me to the fact that
ZuCk might be offened by my word I really
want to appologize for calling him a red booty ape that throws
poo at man passing by.

Now he showed behavior I will invite him in my clan to
be his master. When he finished his time as my
padawan I will send him back to the monkeys.

Humblest regards
LYR emporer of the TOMA

cc: Fangool;Chili;ZuCk
_______________________________________________________________________________

Some training in doing good comunication

Lesson I

Here he comes little padawan. You have grown so much and you sweet like sugar.
*smilingandniphischeellikegranmawoulddoit*
I am back from vacation and have seen that you had some fun with your friends on my playgrounds.

So you are now able to concentrate on the real important stuff in life. The language.
It is the thing that differentiates us from the monkeys and it is an powerful weapon.

Here is an example:

Incomming Insult: Is it because you feel mighty or because the others told you that you are mighty.
Perfect answer: Both

This is the answer of a real master. There is no ability to do an attack to an unprotected flank. Great!

Lets do some analyze on some other conversations.
Incoming insult: Some of your men seem to rob my town by incident. Could you please return the plundered goods.
Answer: Is there a reason why i shouldl send it back to you ? I guess not so be quiet now…
Answer: You send it back if I find a good reason.

A good answer is something like the following.
Answer: Please wait a second I have to collect some more because it does not pay off to send such a paltry amount of resources back to you.

A bad answer is something like this.
Answer: Hey Master of Bla, ive gone now trough your mails and all i can see is blablabla. Thats why i dont aswers you as much as you wish maybe.

I reminiscence about my kindergarten. We had conversations like.
Incoming insult: Your are stupid.
Answer: NeNeNeNeNe

Oh he the good old times.
So here is your homework.
Incoming insult: You fight like a monkey. Throwing bananas is all you can do.

Think about the answer. Maybe your friends can help you I invited some of them.
Look a three headed monkey behind you.
*padawanturnedhisheadandlyrdisappeared*

_______________________________________________________________________________

It really a pity that he never answered because its a really easy one.
Answer: So you slipped on one of them and hardly hit your head?